THANKS TO THE RED, WHITE, & BLUE (and the orange, yellow, green, and purple)

After getting a GPS system yesterday, my Dad (aka Willy D.O.) and I decided to "get lost" downtown and let Magi take us home. (Magi is what I named my Magellan navigation system). We took a random exit off the interstate and saw crowds of people everywhere, streets were blocked off, police were on every corner...

then we realized--IT'S PRIDE WEEKEND!!

How could we skip out on such a cultural opportunity?! So of course we parked the car, joined the crowds, enjoyed a flamboyant parade, and then had a nice leisurely lunch on the patio of a local tavern!! It was AWESOME!!

*this all happened after spending the morning at a gun show and buying Coach and Prada bags for under $100 while N8 took the kids to church by himself-- I know, I know...I'm such a decent human being.

Other title considered for this post:

--Nothing Says the Sabbath Like Guns, Knock offs,

Taverns, and Flamboyancy!!

A Boy's Gotta Learn Some Time...

Is it wrong to blog about my son discovering "shrinkage"?! Well, I think Erika said it best when she said, all is fair in parenting and blogging.


AND...WELL, IN THAT CASE...

We just got back from the pool when I told miles he needed to go potty. He pulled down his swimming trunks and laughed!

"hey mommy!! mommy!! look!! look!! my penis got fat!!!"

(and impressed that he learned something new, I giggled and said, yes, Bud-duh, that's what happens when you go swimming and the water is cold--)

He laughed some more and said, "hey mommy!! my penis has water in it!! And that makes it fat!! hahhahaaa!!!"

(um, not exactly son...but we'll save THAT talk for another day! Like-- the day you get married!!)

CRUNCHY?

The girls were looking at pictures on dad's laptop (screensavers) and giggling like...well, like um, little girls. Anyway, when they see a picture of Bud-duh they start LAUGHING (not sure why, probably because most of the pics are from when he was a baby)...

Tiny points and laughs-
look at crunchy Bud-duh!! He's soo silly!

Um, I think you mean chubby Bud-duh.
--hee hee, NO, crunchy bud-duh! He's so very crunchy!

and when I find the camera that TINY has hidden...
I will upload a couple pictures.
Grrr, she is such a Stitch.

--update--

nevermind, I found it in the playroom.

The Dads in My Life...

In typical Little Miss fashion, I developed cellulitis in my right knee late Saturday night, and by Sunday morning it was INCREDIBLY painful to walk...even sitting still hurt. I had no idea what was going on, just that it was getting worse every hour. So off to Urgent Care I went...

Um...sorry, honey, I need you to load up all the kids in their pajamas and drop me off at the doctor because I'm broken. Oh- and happy father's day.

An hour and a half later, one antibiotic shot in my left hip (I swear it was yellow gel that she was shoving through that needle and now I walk with a limp on BOTH sides), one bout of nausea and vomiting, one set of crutches, one script of painkillers and one more for antibiotics...I return home to my king size baby blue and chocolate bed.
(sorry had to throw that in there)

In the meantime I leave a frantic message on my dad's voicemail (aka Willy, D.O.) that I am dying...
Oh- and happy father's day.

He called back giving me advice and validating my pain (which is ALWAYS a safe way to handle me when I'm stressed) and promising that it will be OK (another safe way to handle me when I'm fragile).

The dads in my life GET ME. I'm not sure that other people get me the way they do. N8 understands my issues almost as well as my dad does...which makes me love them both
SO VERY MUCH.

comfort, advice, validation, unconditional love, calling me out when I need it, encouraging me to go on when I feel hopeless, throwing in their sense of humor to make me laugh, and trying to keep me sane--whatever it takes, my dad and husband are there for me. thank you.

Happy Father's Day!

p.s. just so you all know how wonderful my husband is...
he insisted on doing everything for me today, including walking Damn Dog. I apologized again, and he said, "don't worry about it. It's Father's Day-- a day for fathers to give back." Sigh...I love that man.

I MIGHT have (possibly) peed my pants. MAYBE. just a little.

MOVING day at Princess Reva's might have been quite eventful. I probably went to her house to help unpack and break down boxes to declutter the kitchen. I bet I even stacked the boxes into one big pile, waiting to be taken downstairs for the garbage man. I probably then TRIED to step over the pile, failing miserably, and I just might have slipped and lost my balance in three different directions as the piles of boxes slid on top of one another until finally the bottom box was sent flying across the hardwood floor, landing me FLAT on my ASS.

And I might have (possibly) peed my pants. And if I didn't pee my pants on the way down, then I probably did it in between fits of laughter and tears. And if I didn't pee my pants because of the laughter or the pain, then I probably peed them a little when Princess Reva's baby SCREAMED at me as I rolled around in hysterical fits of laughter and well...pure CRAZINESS, scaring the living bejeebers out of her!

*Princess Reva might have thought I was kidding about NOT stepping on those boxes...and she just might have found herself FLAT on her back within minutes. She MIGHT have peed her pants too. I'm just sayin...

A Tiny Haiku

Tiny's bed did bounce.
She fell off, she bumped her head.
She cried, mama came.

Then she looked up at me (between sobs) and said,
"you have dirt on your eyelashes?!"
no.
"yes you do. (sniff, sniff) it's eyelash dirt!"
no. it's mascara.
"scare-ah? (little sobs) you have scare-ah on...your...eyes?"
yes.
"i don't like that. (sniff and sob) it makes me cry (whah!)."

Embarrassed now?--how 'bout now?

When my husband calls from work, he generally puts me on speakerphone. I get that he is busy and trying to do several things at once, but I HATE being on speakerphone.

So for the 3rd time today, he calls. I answer. He has me on speakerphone. He says, "I forgot to tell you something earlier."

to which I promptly reply:
You want to HAVE SEX with me?!!

*needless to say, he picked up the phone immediately.

No, I Did Not Slap Her!

Anyone remember the Funkwatch '07? (click here)

Apparently there was no flesh eating virus or killer mosquito ants that secretly attacked without notice...nope! The girl cherub brought it with her! Sweetie hadn't been feeling well this week (I could tell because she was *overly sensitive and tired* haha--those who know me will know why I laughed at that) by Wednesday night she had a fever, crying that her tummy and throat hurt, by Friday afternoon she was lethargic and vomiting. By Saturday morning she was peachy keen and happy as ever...but by Saturday night, she looked like this:

*she no longer has any symptoms of being sick, just

this 'slap yo mama' red marking all over her face and chest. my dad (aka willy, D.O.) said it is Fifth Disease, an immune reaction that occurs after an infection has passed.

Unfortunately the rash may last for a couple of weeks, leaving plenty of time for social services to come knocking on my door...

Kids Bored This Summer?

HA--send them to vacation bible school!! My kids now sing rodeo songs about Jesus and do line dances to the theme

"Avalanche Ranch: A wild ride through God's word!"
whoo whooo. it is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

*hey, at least they aren't home with me!

*they had such an amazing time!

Sweet yet Sassy-this is for you:

SADDLE UP YOUR HORSES!! (sing it with me!!)

That's IT--I'm putting it out there.

On IM the other night, Say Cheese and I were talking about how we never get to actually talk any more. It's been months since we've had an actual conversation (sans the internet) because life is so hectic. Phone conversations just don't occur amidst screaming children, chaotic family dramas, interruptions for scheduling conflicts or service announcements from our husbands, church callings, and 10 million other responsibilities we take on as women every.single.day.

hence ONE OF US might have said the following:
one day we will be able to call each other up just to talk about the huge [dump] we took the day before...but until then, this will have to do.

*So here's my renewed commitment: i promise to write about all the [shit] that goes on around here and archive it for my posterity for your lurking pleasure, skid marks included-
(free of charge, of course)

Trying a Different Approach:

*humpty dumpty is slowly climbing back up the wall, broken and emotionally drained, but steadily climbing...

Things that have made me happy in the past 24 hours:

1. Listening to all my saved messages from PrincessReva anything from singing the Oscar Meyer weiner song to screaming HOW IS THIS FAIR?!--click. (random as ever and just made me laugh)!

2. Enjoying our new summer hours--NO SCHOOL! no alarms at 6:25a.m./no backpacks with snacks/ no checking the school lunch menu to make sure the munchkins will actually EAT something that day/ no setting clothes out the night before, along with breakfast by the door in case we're running late/ no stress about missing the bus in the afternoon/ NADA.

3. Learning to relax when N8 has the kids. He won't break them. They deserve to get all riled up before bedtime. They get to play chase and scream and be loud with Daddy. Life is actually quite normal for once.
This is a good thing.

It's just my mood.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings horses and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty back together again.


*don't tell me to snap out of it. don't tell me it will get better.
DON'T. It's just my mood.